rds_rdma_cm_event_handler_cmn() hands the return value of rdma_resolve_route() straight back to the rdma_cm on RDMA_CM_EVENT_ADDR_RESOLVED. A synchronous failure there - -ENOMEM from the route work allocation, an SA query that cannot be set up, a RoCE route with no usable device - makes addr_handler() destroy the id the event was delivered on. That id is ic->i_cm_id, and nothing clears the pointer: the connection sits in RDS_CONN_CONNECTING with a freed id until its shutdown calls rdma_disconnect() and rdma_destroy_id() on it.
The ROUTE_RESOLVED case already avoids this: rds_ib_cm_initiate_connect() forces a zero return while ic->i_cm_id == cm_id, as the comment there explains. Do the same here - drop the connection and return 0 - so the id stays RDS's to destroy from the shutdown, and the reconnect gets a fresh one.